dear single women over 25...

[JaceSan]

It's not really sad. For every "self-loathing basket case, unabashed flake, and outright gold digger" that jones mentions there's a woman that is stable and knows what she wants. It's a matter of keeping things in perspective.

I realized that after the last girl I was seeing. When you get to be our age a certain amount of "baggage" comes along with you. How you deal with said "baggage" determines whether or not you're ready to get involved with another person. Some are ready, some aren't. Hopefully you find someone that's ready. If not, then hopefully you realize they're not ready before things get dramatic.

[Lulu]

How could anyone even think to place their own need before a child's? You're lucky not to be saddled with such a twit!

Dating is hard under any circumstance. I've been trying it since I was 16 with minimal luck.

Say Jones- You're kinda cute. (You don't live in Califonia by chance, do you?)

[img]wink.gif[/img]

[jones]

Sorry, Lulu -- Dayton, Ohio. But if you're ever anywhere near here, I'll take you out for a steak (or tofu if you're a veggie). My treat.

As for you, RichC. I don't want you to get the impression that it's completely terrible. I can't agree with Jace that it's a 50/50 ratio of good to bad (more 80/20 IMO), but there are great women out there. And I'll admit, some of my problems might be due to poor judgment on my part. My brother mentioned to me that he's noticed a lot of the things I'm describing in women under 30, but less and less in older women (and lest you think I'm just going by the male perspective, his new wife says that she and her friends changed much for the better after the big 3-0). And in my experience, that makes sense. My only problem is that with my interests (comics, indie rock, general artsy type stuff), I tend to run into younger women.

(I'm also hyper-sensitive about anything to do with Oakley -- maybe too sensitive, but I figure better safe than sorry where he's concerned)

I did, however, meet a really nice woman a few weeks ago who was 34 (my age). She knew about Oakley from the get-go, and she seemed okay with it. She also seemed to be a lot of fun, and generally nice. Her only problem was that she was kind of a flake. Not to say she was psycho. I mean "flake" as someone who "flakes," someone who has trouble keeping appointments or following a schedule and has no reason why. It's always been a personal rule with me that flakes are never worth the trouble. So I politely told her thanks-but-no-thanks. I even took the blame -- you know: "It's not you, it's me..." And I meant it. She was a pretty cool person, and in a way, I was kind of dumb not to at least get to know her better.

Oh yeah, about single mothers: believe it or not, I haven't met any, but I'd go out with one. At least we'd have something in common.

Anyway, thanks for the support, all. And I've just raised my minimum age limit for dating to 31 (with a little wiggle room, of course -- there are always exceptions).

take care

---jones()

[JaceSan]

That's funny. I'd kept my minimum to 25. After seeing a waitress that looked like Jaime Pressly the other day I'm considering lowering mine.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ August 06, 2003 12:05 AM: Message edited by: JaceSan ]</font>

[Orenda]

hmm...I'd say the same thing about most younger men. I'm 22. My boyfriend's 30. We have the same outlook on almost everything. I have sought out and befriended several men my own age who have "grown up without growing old", but most people seem to need the time.

[Neophobic Man]

I don't know why things work the way they do...Mindy is only going on 22 and I'm now 29, but things just work between us...maybe it's because we'd known each other first...it's all perspective I guess...

[Weekapaug Groove]

thank the gods that i'm married and don't have to worry about these things anymore.

although i will say that i always dated women a few years younger than me before i met my wife, and it never worked. my wife's a few years older than me, though, and i've never been happier.

[RichC]

Hmmm... much to consider and much to ponder upon...

[crazy a]

Hey Jones, come over to NC. My wife's (fraternal) twin sister is divorced and has a daughter about 14 and a son about 12. She's alright. She's soon to be 37.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ August 06, 2003 12:04 AM: Message edited by: crazy a ]</font>

[jones]

She sounds like a catch (no joke), but my ex- and I agreed to stay in geographical proximity for Oakley's sake. Thanks a million though.

Jace, you're probably being facetious, but in case you're not, I would seriously think twice before going under 25. No offense to the younger women on this board -- it's just that with the women I know who are that age, I am every so often joltingly reminded how differently I view things from how a person at that stage in life does. That being said, I do know a guy who's a year younger than me and lives with a 19-year-old. Personally, I can't stand her, but they seem to make it work. I really think that's the exception though.

take care

---jones()